Pain, what is it?
Pain: Mirium Webster- A) localized or generalized unpleasant bodily sensation or complex of sensations that causes mild to severe physical discomfort and emotional distress and typically results from bodily disorder (such as injury or disease)
acute shooting pains
also : the state marked by the presence of such sensations
B) mental or emotional distress or suffering : Grief
We can suffer from many kinds of pain . The pain from a physical injury, whether it be from an accident
The loss of something or someone very important in our life .It can be abandonment Whatever the source of pain is regardless, we all have pain. And because of that pain we want to feel better. Usually with something or someone. That often times is what leads to unhealthy behaviors and addictions. I covered much of that in my first book the pathway to healing is painful.
Yet I would like to really like to try and walk through how to have Joy in the midst of the pain. To share many of the ways I have found to and that God and others have helped me.
Joy, What is it? From compassion.com
The difference between Joy and Happiness
What is joy? What is happiness? And what is the difference between joy and happiness?
The difference between joy and happiness lives in the mind and heart.
Joy is a little word. Happiness is a bigger word.
Joy is in the heart. Happiness is on the face.
Joy is of the soul. Happiness is of the moment.
Joy transcends. Happiness reacts.
Joy embraces peace and contentment, waiting to be discovered.
Joy runs deep and overflows, while happiness hugs hello.
Joy is a practice and a behavior. It’s deliberate and intentional. Happiness comes and goes blithely along its way.
Joy is profound and Scriptural. "Don't worry, rejoice." Happiness is a balm. "Don't worry, be happy."
Joy is an inner feeling. Happiness is an outward expression.
Joy endures hardship and trials and connects with meaning and purpose.
A person pursues happiness but chooses joy.
For every person who says joy is an underlying truth that good or bad circumstances can’t dictate, and that happiness is rooted in circumstance, there will be others who think the opposite, that joy is just a state of mind, the outcome of a mind seeking happiness and focused on pleasure, pleasing thoughts and pleasant experiences.
Despite the different perspectives, the idea that holds greater sway today is that experiencing happiness depends on external factors. Happiness happens to us. Even though we may seek it, desire it, pursue it, etc., feeling happiness is not a choice we make. Joy, on the other hand, is a choice purposefully made.
Happiness doesn’t bring joy, and joy isn’t the byproduct of happiness. Joy is something grander than happiness. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit, and when we find joy it’s infused with comfort and wrapped in peace. It’s an attitude of the heart and spirit, often synonymous with but not limited to following Christ Jesus and pursuing a Christian life.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” — Galatians 5:22-23, NASB
Regardless of one’s faith, joy is present inside everyone as an untapped reservoir of potential.
It’s possible to experience joy in difficult times. It’s possible to know joy or feel joy in spite of grief or uncertainty. Joy doesn’t need a smile in order to exist.
Although joy does feels better with a happy smile, joy can share space with other emotions — sadness, fear, anger ... even unhappiness. Happiness can’t.
Happiness isn’t present in darkness and difficulty. It can’t be present when its antithesis rules. But once discovered, joy undergirds our spirits and brings to life peace and contentment, even in the face of unhappiness.
Joy blooms through connection. It’s what God wants for us. Often the connection is with other people, but it can also be with pets, creation, creativity, etc.
Joy is present, in the moment. Every moment. Happiness is ephemeral and temporary. It’s mostly just passing through.
When happiness is present, it’s larger than life. It feels good, and nothing feels better or seems worthy of attention. But happiness is also fickle. It can be present for weeks on end and gone in an instant. True joy is constant.
The true definition of joy goes beyond the limited explanation presented in a dictionary — “a feeling a great pleasure and happiness.” True joy is a limitless, life-defining, transformative reservoir waiting to be tapped into. It requires the utmost surrender and, like love, is a choice to be made. Joy is not simply a feeling that happens.
Joy is also not great happiness or even extreme happiness. It is not elation, jubilation or exhilaration — emotions that may be present with joy, that may seem like an expression of joy, but which don’t define joy. In its truest expression, joy transforms difficult times into blessings and turns heartache into gratitude. Joy brings meaning to life. It brings life to life.
CHOOSING JOY
On the spectrum of easy to hard there are fewer things easier than telling another person not to worry, or in this instance to choose joy. How am I supposed to choose joy? I want it. I'm tired of being sad, angry, frustrated, hopeless, etc. Is that good enough? Do I need to announce out loud, "I'm choosing joy"? Do I need to repeat "choose joy, choose joy, choose joy" throughout the day, each and every day, until I'm filled with joy?
We all know that choosing to feel one emotion versus another isn't easy. In fact, it seems impossible, as if we are at the mercy of our emotions, unable to rein them in. They just automatically kick into gear and take us for a ride, whether we like it or not. Tell a sad person to cheer up, and you’re most likely to hear, “I can’t.” Tell an angry person to let it go, and you may be the recipient of a burst of anger. Even though we’re each probably "guilty" of encouraging a friend to be happy at one time or another, we know it’s not that simple. If it was, there wouldn't be any grieving in the world.
Despite the reality of all of this, it is possible to be joyful in difficult times. The presence of anger, shame, grief, sadness, etc. doesn’t mean joy isn’t or can’t be present. And the presence of joy doesn’t mean there isn’t any pain in a person’s soul.
HOW DO I CHOOSE JOY?
Choosing joy is like choosing love. It’s not something done once and forgotten. Choosing is a habit. Many times a day, each and every day, married couples overlook the imperfections of their spouses. They choose to see beyond the particular circumstances of a moment and extend grace to one another. Similarly, choosing joy requires us to look beyond our immediate circumstance to connect with a bigger picture. Joy requires connection.
HOW DO I MAKE JOY A HABIT?
Good habits seem hard to come by. It's the bad ones that take no effort at all. That's because habits form via the path of least resistance.
Choosing to make joy a habit requires you to turn your focus outward. Repetitively. Shift your attention away from your problems, your difficulties and yourself, and think about others. Repeatedly.
Connect with the feelings of those also affected. Regularly.
This process is quite possibly one of the hardest things a person can do. It's not something that will come quickly or easily. But considering others before yourself is a definite ticket to joy. (compassion.com)
Comments